Ever since Barrack Obama won the presidential elections I have heard bad thing after bad thing about his hopes and plans for a different kind of administration. The most common of those complaints being centered around his health care reform bid. Tell me what is so horrible about giving the big insurance companies something to compete with? The insurance that my husband gets through his job for our family takes over a quarter of his paycheck every time. If you could find the same coverage for less money wouldn't you take it?
Insurance companies these days actually have people that sit around all day looking over other peoples' insurance policies and claims trying to find a way around covering a claim! Can you believe that!?!?!?! That's their only job.
Now the war in Afghanistan I can't agree with. I don't think we should still be there. And historically we as a country have been all too eager to stick our noses into other peoples' business and never leave. I know that those men and women would all rather be home with their families, but because of their calling they will go where they are "needed" to "protect" this country. I have the utmost respect for the troops that are there or anywhere else in the world. But I think that using them to set up government in other countries is not their job.
Taliban will never stop. It's the kind of extremism that will be passed on, just like racism, it's taught early and the student soon comes to think that it's the only way of thinking. You cannot change minds like that. So much violence has been carried out in the name of whatever higher power, way of living, differing opinions what have you.
But back to the original point of this post. President Obama. Yes he is bringing a new kind of administration that many of us have never seen before. He's shaking things up on Capitol Hill. People don't like to be shaken. Many people have said to me, his changes are not for the better. In my opinion, he can do no worse than Bush did. Yes, he may be trying to change too much too soon and that may scare many Americans, but that doesn't mean that these changes aren't necessary. He's taking a new approach to foreign relations, no longer acting like America is the most powerful and losing the arrogant attitude that has plagued the White House for so long. I for one am very proud to call him my President. He is brave enough to go for the changes that this country needs most. Wise enough to keep council even with those who oppose him politically. A man like that makes a powerful leader.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Holiday Spirit
Thanksgiving is finally over. This is the first year that I did not cook a single thing. In fact my kitchen had almost the entire day off. This never happens. Ever.
Because our families live so close to us there is no way around having to split up each holiday between the two. So we spend half the day with his family and half the day with mine. This is exhausting. I'm not one for the holidays anyway. All the decorations and the scented candle things, and the endless list of stuff you have to do. However we have children, one of which is just starting to get into the whole Santa thing. It's unavoidable. There is just no way around a bouncing three year old full of Christmas cheer......unfortunately.
So, this year we (by we I mean I) will be making cookies for "Santa", putting up an ugly plastic tree, and hanging those super fragile glass ball ornament things. You know the ones, they break at the slightest bounce. Now that would be enough by itself to give me a headache. Our oldest daughter has been making me sing Christmas songs at bedtime. This brought to my attention one thing.
Before I had kids I knew every line to every lullaby and Christmas song I had ever heard. The minute we had our first child my mind went blank. It became encores of "rock-a-bye baby da da duh duh..." Because I couldn't remember the rest of the stupid song! So now I'm online looking for Christmas music because my three year old is telling me "MOM!! That's not how it goes!!" and I'm like, "Well if you know it you sing it you little Christmas Troll."
Which brings me to the last and possibly the most terrifying realization. This year I am 99% sure that my hubby and I will be woken up to sounds of "MAMA, DADDY IT'S CHRISTMAS" at the highest decible possible for three year old vocal cords. At that time I will look over at the digital alarm clock and there glowing bright and evil it will read.......4:00 am. I will then stumble my way to the kitchen half asleep and proceed to make the strongest pot of coffee known to man, grab one of those huge black trash bags and surrender to the curse that is wrapping paper and the tape that manufacturers think is necessary on every single opening point of every single toy. Did I tell you just how much I hate tape? All toys will be opened at our house by 5:00 am and while they play quietly (hey, I'm hoping here) I will consume the pot of coffee and try to be reasonably awake for the rest of the morning. Of course that's the point where we take our day and with a giant holiday butcher's knife proceed to chop the damn thing in half.
Merry Christmas, Holiday, whatever the hell they're calling it now!
Because our families live so close to us there is no way around having to split up each holiday between the two. So we spend half the day with his family and half the day with mine. This is exhausting. I'm not one for the holidays anyway. All the decorations and the scented candle things, and the endless list of stuff you have to do. However we have children, one of which is just starting to get into the whole Santa thing. It's unavoidable. There is just no way around a bouncing three year old full of Christmas cheer......unfortunately.
So, this year we (by we I mean I) will be making cookies for "Santa", putting up an ugly plastic tree, and hanging those super fragile glass ball ornament things. You know the ones, they break at the slightest bounce. Now that would be enough by itself to give me a headache. Our oldest daughter has been making me sing Christmas songs at bedtime. This brought to my attention one thing.
Before I had kids I knew every line to every lullaby and Christmas song I had ever heard. The minute we had our first child my mind went blank. It became encores of "rock-a-bye baby da da duh duh..." Because I couldn't remember the rest of the stupid song! So now I'm online looking for Christmas music because my three year old is telling me "MOM!! That's not how it goes!!" and I'm like, "Well if you know it you sing it you little Christmas Troll."
Which brings me to the last and possibly the most terrifying realization. This year I am 99% sure that my hubby and I will be woken up to sounds of "MAMA, DADDY IT'S CHRISTMAS" at the highest decible possible for three year old vocal cords. At that time I will look over at the digital alarm clock and there glowing bright and evil it will read.......4:00 am. I will then stumble my way to the kitchen half asleep and proceed to make the strongest pot of coffee known to man, grab one of those huge black trash bags and surrender to the curse that is wrapping paper and the tape that manufacturers think is necessary on every single opening point of every single toy. Did I tell you just how much I hate tape? All toys will be opened at our house by 5:00 am and while they play quietly (hey, I'm hoping here) I will consume the pot of coffee and try to be reasonably awake for the rest of the morning. Of course that's the point where we take our day and with a giant holiday butcher's knife proceed to chop the damn thing in half.
Merry Christmas, Holiday, whatever the hell they're calling it now!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Abandoning Plans
I am a planner.
I like knowing what is going on, when things are happening, and how it is all going to go. I like the security of a solid plan.
That said, when you have kids, the only solid plan you will have is that something will go wrong with the plan.
Take gremlin number 2's birthday party today. The plan was that I would be there at noon to help set up and everyone else would be there at two thirty for the party.
What actually happened is that I didn't get there till one thirty. Only a third of the people I invited showed up. My own family was two hours late (through no fault of their own). Gremlin number 2 was sick, and didn't want anything to do with her cake.
All in all, my plan failed. Not that it wasn't a good plan, it was. It was airtight. I just didn't account for temper tantrums. Gremlin number 1 taking fifteen minutes to decide which dress she was going to wear. The time it would take to finish the cake, get everyone ready (in the process forgetting I needed to get ready too!). Not to mention heated discussions with my darling hubby about helping to get everyone ready.
In his defense he wasn't feeling good to begin with. He really is a great guy and an even better father.
So I am abandoning all plans. Done. Whacked. Gone.
I like knowing what is going on, when things are happening, and how it is all going to go. I like the security of a solid plan.
That said, when you have kids, the only solid plan you will have is that something will go wrong with the plan.
Take gremlin number 2's birthday party today. The plan was that I would be there at noon to help set up and everyone else would be there at two thirty for the party.
What actually happened is that I didn't get there till one thirty. Only a third of the people I invited showed up. My own family was two hours late (through no fault of their own). Gremlin number 2 was sick, and didn't want anything to do with her cake.
All in all, my plan failed. Not that it wasn't a good plan, it was. It was airtight. I just didn't account for temper tantrums. Gremlin number 1 taking fifteen minutes to decide which dress she was going to wear. The time it would take to finish the cake, get everyone ready (in the process forgetting I needed to get ready too!). Not to mention heated discussions with my darling hubby about helping to get everyone ready.
In his defense he wasn't feeling good to begin with. He really is a great guy and an even better father.
So I am abandoning all plans. Done. Whacked. Gone.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Changing Plans
Lance and I found out last month that we were going to have another baby. Three children! My mind is positively overwhelmed at that thought!
We told my mother, she laughed at us. We told Lance's mother, she laughed at us. We told my friend Heather, she laughed at us. I still don't know what's so darn funny about the whole situation. I never expected to be pregnant again. I didn't want to be pregnant again. I don't know how we are going to deal with three children, two of which will still be in diapers. The only thing I can hope for is that Sophie will potty train early.
Lance and I are looking into my enrolling in an EMT course and getting certified before the baby is born. Then during the time that I'm home with the baby I can apply for jobs in Berkeley and Charleston counties as well as with the private ambulance services.
If I got on with Berkeley county EMS then I would be working twenty four hour shifts like Lance does. If we could get on the same shift it would be great. We were thinking we could hire someone to come and sit the little kids while we worked. Eventually getting all our bills paid off and saving for a house. I want to be able to get one with an extra room so that the sitter will have a space of her own because we will need them for at least the next five years. Day and night.
Lance said that he would call around to see when and where the next course is being held and how much it is going to cost us. I figure I'll spend three years as an EMT and then go for my paramedic certification.
We told my mother, she laughed at us. We told Lance's mother, she laughed at us. We told my friend Heather, she laughed at us. I still don't know what's so darn funny about the whole situation. I never expected to be pregnant again. I didn't want to be pregnant again. I don't know how we are going to deal with three children, two of which will still be in diapers. The only thing I can hope for is that Sophie will potty train early.
Lance and I are looking into my enrolling in an EMT course and getting certified before the baby is born. Then during the time that I'm home with the baby I can apply for jobs in Berkeley and Charleston counties as well as with the private ambulance services.
If I got on with Berkeley county EMS then I would be working twenty four hour shifts like Lance does. If we could get on the same shift it would be great. We were thinking we could hire someone to come and sit the little kids while we worked. Eventually getting all our bills paid off and saving for a house. I want to be able to get one with an extra room so that the sitter will have a space of her own because we will need them for at least the next five years. Day and night.
Lance said that he would call around to see when and where the next course is being held and how much it is going to cost us. I figure I'll spend three years as an EMT and then go for my paramedic certification.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
None
So much has happened since the Octoberfest. My youngest daughter Sophia had to get tubes put in both of her ears. They may have been the best thing we've ever done. She is doing so much better! I am really looking forward to when she starts walking and talking.
I have really got to get a move on getting the house cleaned. It's been neglected since this weekend which is something I normally do not do, but we have been so busy that there hasn't really been time for it.
Makayala has her first field trip today at head start. They are going to the Berkeley County Library in Moncks Corner. She was very excited this morning! I'm sure she's going to have a great time and come home talking about it!
I have really got to get a move on getting the house cleaned. It's been neglected since this weekend which is something I normally do not do, but we have been so busy that there hasn't really been time for it.
Makayala has her first field trip today at head start. They are going to the Berkeley County Library in Moncks Corner. She was very excited this morning! I'm sure she's going to have a great time and come home talking about it!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Ok, so it's around four a.m here at Casa de Wadford. I can't sleep and obviously I'm bored.
I can't stop thinking about something my ass of a brother in law said to my husband the other night. It's common knowledge in our family that for the moment I'm a stay at home mom. So hubby said something about my doing something or another and jackass decided to fuck with him and ask him where I got any money from!! That shit just pissed me the fuck off! Fuck you, you clock punching dick. I've spent years of my life working boring as hell jobs. Sorry dude, life it too fucking short to waste it on boring shit that doesn't bring the smallest bit of satisfaction. Anyway, now that that's out of my system. (Really I feel so much better lol)
My youngest daughter has to go to an ear nose and throat specialist tomorrow (today). Her tonsils have been swollen for two freaking weeks! They have put her on two different antibiotics, neither bringing the desired results. So Monday the doctor starts talking about the possibility of having to have her tonsils taken out. I didn't even know that they could do that in a baby so young. (ten months) So I've got that to deal with later today.
Lance gets off at seven and then he's off for like the next two weeks or something. He's got Friday off from the shop and he's going to be in town helping out with the awesomeness that is our local Octoberfest!! Truly the people of St Stephen are kick ass!! And my in laws (w/ the exception of my brother in law, are awesome)
Had a really great day with M-I-L and Granny, we had a lot baking to do for the festival. We had a pretty good time with the exception that our plans with the marshmallows and the Oreo's did not go too well. Screw it, we tried. We did end up with some pretty great shit though. We are the Bake Masters (lol), I am such a dork.
My sister has been put on bedrest because of pre-eclampsia, my nephew is later this month but the medical people say that they might have to take him next week if she doesn't get any better. The bed rest is going to drive her crazy. I'll probably drop by and see her this week. I can't wait to meet my nephew, the docs keep telling Em that he's growing perfectly, there's nothing wrong with his feet (something Em was really worried about). She's going to name him Charles Sebastian, I'll just call him Charlie!! He's going to be the most beautiful baby boy!! I'm going to spoil him so bad, finally I get to send loud toys and stuff to someone ELSES house!! MuHaHaHa, I'm evil, I know.
Ok, dudes, I've got to wake up the oldest gremlin for school in like two hours and I need some more coffee. Seeing the bottom of my over sized coffee cup is never a good thing.
I can't stop thinking about something my ass of a brother in law said to my husband the other night. It's common knowledge in our family that for the moment I'm a stay at home mom. So hubby said something about my doing something or another and jackass decided to fuck with him and ask him where I got any money from!! That shit just pissed me the fuck off! Fuck you, you clock punching dick. I've spent years of my life working boring as hell jobs. Sorry dude, life it too fucking short to waste it on boring shit that doesn't bring the smallest bit of satisfaction. Anyway, now that that's out of my system. (Really I feel so much better lol)
My youngest daughter has to go to an ear nose and throat specialist tomorrow (today). Her tonsils have been swollen for two freaking weeks! They have put her on two different antibiotics, neither bringing the desired results. So Monday the doctor starts talking about the possibility of having to have her tonsils taken out. I didn't even know that they could do that in a baby so young. (ten months) So I've got that to deal with later today.
Lance gets off at seven and then he's off for like the next two weeks or something. He's got Friday off from the shop and he's going to be in town helping out with the awesomeness that is our local Octoberfest!! Truly the people of St Stephen are kick ass!! And my in laws (w/ the exception of my brother in law, are awesome)
Had a really great day with M-I-L and Granny, we had a lot baking to do for the festival. We had a pretty good time with the exception that our plans with the marshmallows and the Oreo's did not go too well. Screw it, we tried. We did end up with some pretty great shit though. We are the Bake Masters (lol), I am such a dork.
My sister has been put on bedrest because of pre-eclampsia, my nephew is later this month but the medical people say that they might have to take him next week if she doesn't get any better. The bed rest is going to drive her crazy. I'll probably drop by and see her this week. I can't wait to meet my nephew, the docs keep telling Em that he's growing perfectly, there's nothing wrong with his feet (something Em was really worried about). She's going to name him Charles Sebastian, I'll just call him Charlie!! He's going to be the most beautiful baby boy!! I'm going to spoil him so bad, finally I get to send loud toys and stuff to someone ELSES house!! MuHaHaHa, I'm evil, I know.
Ok, dudes, I've got to wake up the oldest gremlin for school in like two hours and I need some more coffee. Seeing the bottom of my over sized coffee cup is never a good thing.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Motherhood
The joys (and jobs) of motherhood are endless. From diapers to school plays and everything in between. I am mother hen to two small children, both girls. Makayla Ruth Wadford 3, and Sophia Wren Wadford, 11 months. And along with all of the joys come all of the jobs, no one will ever tell you how much they just loved changing their babies' diapers, or how the highlight of their week was when their toddler started throwing up in the middle of the night. Nurse is one of a mother's many subtitles.
These past two weeks it has been my main subtitle. My two beautiful daughters both had ear infections, sinus infections and Sophie had tonsillitis. On top of all of that, she was teething! Running 103.5 fevers (like this afternoon), coughing, and runny noses have been my constant companions. Thankfully with the help of my mother, a cool bath, some baby tylenol, and some witchhazel we were able to bring her fever down. I am on watch tonight to make sure it doesn't go up again. That means I will be nursing the coffee pot all night and probably all day tomorrow. I didn't get any sleep last night either, but I'll be fine. I just want my kids to get well. When they are sick it's awful. They have been on antibiotics and c-phen drops for the last week and a half now. Sophia has to go back to the doctor on Monday so he can check her tonsils and make sure they went back down to their normal size.
Thankfully the girls are sleeping now, I went to check on them a little while ago. Sophie's fever is still down, which I am grateful for. Hopefully they will get a good nights rest and feel better in the morning.
These past two weeks it has been my main subtitle. My two beautiful daughters both had ear infections, sinus infections and Sophie had tonsillitis. On top of all of that, she was teething! Running 103.5 fevers (like this afternoon), coughing, and runny noses have been my constant companions. Thankfully with the help of my mother, a cool bath, some baby tylenol, and some witchhazel we were able to bring her fever down. I am on watch tonight to make sure it doesn't go up again. That means I will be nursing the coffee pot all night and probably all day tomorrow. I didn't get any sleep last night either, but I'll be fine. I just want my kids to get well. When they are sick it's awful. They have been on antibiotics and c-phen drops for the last week and a half now. Sophia has to go back to the doctor on Monday so he can check her tonsils and make sure they went back down to their normal size.
Thankfully the girls are sleeping now, I went to check on them a little while ago. Sophie's fever is still down, which I am grateful for. Hopefully they will get a good nights rest and feel better in the morning.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I am so frustrated right now!! I have been looking for a job for about two months now. Everything I come across requires either a degree or a certification. I have neither. I type well, I know how to use a computer and I have five years of customer service experience. I don't know why it is taking this long!!
I know millions of other Americans are in this same position. I lost my job back in April because I had to have emergency surgery and ended up in the hospital for three days and out for the next week. My boss didn't like that too much. Anywho, I got my GED in August and have been looking for a job ever since. The only downside to living in the country is that your so far away from everything, of course that's one of the upsides too. It is a great place to raise your kids, it's quiet, I don't have to worry about someone breaking into our home when my husband is at the fire department. I can let my girls play outside without fear of them getting run over (we live away from the highway). But because of all of this, finding a job that pays enough to make the commute worth it is very difficult.
On a different note. My house has morphed into a hospital these past few weeks. I have had to take the girls to the doctors twice this month. This last time the verdict was: two ear infections (both girls), two sinus infections (both girls) and my youngest Sophie had tonsillitis!!! Thankfully they are doing much better now. Sophie has to go back to the doctor on the fifth, he wanted to make sure her tonsils came back down to their normal size. I just want everyone to get better.
The Octoberfest is coming up in a week or so. I am very excited. I love our festivals and this year the St Stephen Volunteer Fire Department is running the Octoberfest!! I just know it's going to be great! These are wonderfully dedicated people, who love this town and what they do. I am really excited to see what band they have gotten this year, normally the music is really good, so I'm sure they won't dissappoint!!
My eldest daughter Makayla has started headstart. My mom had a fit because she didn't want her granddaughter to go to "that place". Turns out she loves that place. Her teachers are wonderful, she has a great time and she learns. What more can I ask for in a preschool?
I know millions of other Americans are in this same position. I lost my job back in April because I had to have emergency surgery and ended up in the hospital for three days and out for the next week. My boss didn't like that too much. Anywho, I got my GED in August and have been looking for a job ever since. The only downside to living in the country is that your so far away from everything, of course that's one of the upsides too. It is a great place to raise your kids, it's quiet, I don't have to worry about someone breaking into our home when my husband is at the fire department. I can let my girls play outside without fear of them getting run over (we live away from the highway). But because of all of this, finding a job that pays enough to make the commute worth it is very difficult.
On a different note. My house has morphed into a hospital these past few weeks. I have had to take the girls to the doctors twice this month. This last time the verdict was: two ear infections (both girls), two sinus infections (both girls) and my youngest Sophie had tonsillitis!!! Thankfully they are doing much better now. Sophie has to go back to the doctor on the fifth, he wanted to make sure her tonsils came back down to their normal size. I just want everyone to get better.
The Octoberfest is coming up in a week or so. I am very excited. I love our festivals and this year the St Stephen Volunteer Fire Department is running the Octoberfest!! I just know it's going to be great! These are wonderfully dedicated people, who love this town and what they do. I am really excited to see what band they have gotten this year, normally the music is really good, so I'm sure they won't dissappoint!!
My eldest daughter Makayla has started headstart. My mom had a fit because she didn't want her granddaughter to go to "that place". Turns out she loves that place. Her teachers are wonderful, she has a great time and she learns. What more can I ask for in a preschool?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
A Different Kind of Animal All Together..
Ok, let us talk for a minute about deer and rabbits. (I know this is a bit off subject but go with me here.) This spring I decided to plant a garden. I was looking forward to juicy tomatoes, crisp greens, and fresh beans and peppers among other things.
Yesterday, however, I went out to check on my beloved garden and found that my entire row of black eyed peas had been eaten!!!! I could see where the plants had been, they all looked like little stubs sticking out of the ground! Needless to say I was very upset. Here I had tilled, and weeded and tended this garden and what do I get in return? I called my grandmother and everyone else I knew and got numerous responses as to how to keep rabbits and deer OUT of my garden.
- Pee around your garden (believe it or not this was one of the top answers I got!! Apparently there's something about the scent.)
- Tie grocery bags around your garden - the noise when the breeze blows them scares away all pests.
- Sprinkle human hair (like from the barber shop) around the outside of your garden.
- Mix one tablespoon Tabasco with one gallon of water and pour around the outside of your garden.
Does anyone have any more ideas on how to keep rabbits and deer away from the garden?
Yesterday, however, I went out to check on my beloved garden and found that my entire row of black eyed peas had been eaten!!!! I could see where the plants had been, they all looked like little stubs sticking out of the ground! Needless to say I was very upset. Here I had tilled, and weeded and tended this garden and what do I get in return? I called my grandmother and everyone else I knew and got numerous responses as to how to keep rabbits and deer OUT of my garden.
- Pee around your garden (believe it or not this was one of the top answers I got!! Apparently there's something about the scent.)
- Tie grocery bags around your garden - the noise when the breeze blows them scares away all pests.
- Sprinkle human hair (like from the barber shop) around the outside of your garden.
- Mix one tablespoon Tabasco with one gallon of water and pour around the outside of your garden.
Does anyone have any more ideas on how to keep rabbits and deer away from the garden?
Monday, May 11, 2009
Recovery
Well, today was ok. My stomach looks like someone kicked the crap out of it, bruises and such. But all in all the pain isn't that bad. After all it wasn't like I lost anything truly valuable lol. My dad made my husband take me and the girls over to my mother's house today so that they could help with the kids since I couldn't lift them or anything. But I'm staying home tomorrow so I'll see what I can get done and if Lance fusses when he gets home because I was cleaning the house then there's nothing that he can do about it because it will already be done.
I've quit my part time job in favor of finishing my GED and taking care of the girls. Really when I sat back and looked at it I realized that unless I can find a job that will pay enough to put both of the girls in daycare then it's really not worth it right now. Mak just turned three and Soph is only six months. Past sitters have been unreliable with the exception of one, but I am hesitant about that because of several different things. So I either find a job that pays well, or I wait until both of my children are in kindergarten......yeah, that's a good long while.
A bit of good news, the garden is growing well, I've only gotten to take a quick look since we've been home but tomorrow I'm going to go out there and give it a good once over. It looks like it hasn't been weeded and I've not been able to water it for the last three days because I wasn't here. Mak and I planted tomatoes (which I have to replant and stake), bell peppers, eggplant, squash, lima beans, blackeyed peas and string beans. So I'm really hoping that everything grows well and that we will have a good turn out from the garden. This is the first year I've ever done anything like this and I'm really excited. Mak was mostly just happy to be able to play in the dirt!!
I've quit my part time job in favor of finishing my GED and taking care of the girls. Really when I sat back and looked at it I realized that unless I can find a job that will pay enough to put both of the girls in daycare then it's really not worth it right now. Mak just turned three and Soph is only six months. Past sitters have been unreliable with the exception of one, but I am hesitant about that because of several different things. So I either find a job that pays well, or I wait until both of my children are in kindergarten......yeah, that's a good long while.
A bit of good news, the garden is growing well, I've only gotten to take a quick look since we've been home but tomorrow I'm going to go out there and give it a good once over. It looks like it hasn't been weeded and I've not been able to water it for the last three days because I wasn't here. Mak and I planted tomatoes (which I have to replant and stake), bell peppers, eggplant, squash, lima beans, blackeyed peas and string beans. So I'm really hoping that everything grows well and that we will have a good turn out from the garden. This is the first year I've ever done anything like this and I'm really excited. Mak was mostly just happy to be able to play in the dirt!!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, where do I start? The beginning is always good. LOL, ok really, not that funny.
This week has been really hectic. I work part time at our local grocery store, in the meat department. I also have two children, one three and one six months. My husband and I do not make enough money to put them in daycare so that I can work full time, so my mother has kept them whilst I worked after having my youngest, Sophia. Well, on Friday she called me right as I was about to go back to work from lunch telling me that I had to come get the girls. She couldn't stop Sophie from screaming (teething) and Makayla wasn't listening to her! Take note here that I was late to work Friday morning because my alarm clock did not go off that morning (thankyou stupid thunderstorm) so my boss wasn't exactly happy with me to begin with. I had to call him and tell him that I had to leave work for the rest of the day to go and get my children. So I go and do that and get everyone home and settled. Later that afternoon I start getting stomach pain. I thought I had a run of the mill stomach virus and thought nothing of it until later when it got so bad that I couldn't even stand up. The nausea itself was terrible!!! My darling husband had to call 911, wake our girls and follow the ambulance to the emergency room. After finally getting checked out by the doctor they ruled all viral causes out and ordered a cat scan of my abdomen. They then found that it was my appendix and I was rushed down to Roper hospital for a Laparscopic Appendectomy (forgive me if I spelled that wrong) that was 1 am Saturday morning I think ( I was a bit out of it as I think that they gave me something for the pain after they found out that it was my appendix). I was rushed down there and they got me ready for surgery I don't remember much but I do remember that they strapped my arms and legs down to the table before surgery ( did not like that part one bit) then they put the little anesthetic face mask thingee on me and it felt like it stayed on there for a while and it felt like it wasn't working. I started to freak out thinking that they were going to start the surgery on me before I was out. Like I said I don't remember much before they brought me round after the surgery.
After I woke up my vision was really blurry but they said that it was because of the gel stuff that they put on my eyes pre op, my throat was really sore but that was because of the tube that they put down my throat (not sure what that part was for) and I was really sore from my ribcage up especially on my right side. Oh, and sometime before I was really awake my iv burst and soaked my left arm and hospital gown with iv fluid and blood (really not cool). I'm home now and recovering thankfully. Everything is still really sore and I'm kindof scared to take a shower because all they put on my insicions (which there are three) is this clear derma bond stuff) and I'm scared it's going to dissolve or something. I'm going to call the dr in the morning.
I'm going to be at my mother's house for the next day or so until I can start lifting again. The doctor said that I can't really lift anything over three pounds for the next two weeks so it's going to be interesting to see how my mother and I get on. We love eachother better from our own houses.
Oh, I got a new puppy!!! I almost forgot about him. He is sooo wonderful. He's a daschund chiuahha mix and black and tan. So completely cute and loyal. He has stayed with me all day since we got home, and he will be going with me and the girls when we get to my mothers. Oh, his name is Maximillon Wadford. The newest addition to our family.
This week has been really hectic. I work part time at our local grocery store, in the meat department. I also have two children, one three and one six months. My husband and I do not make enough money to put them in daycare so that I can work full time, so my mother has kept them whilst I worked after having my youngest, Sophia. Well, on Friday she called me right as I was about to go back to work from lunch telling me that I had to come get the girls. She couldn't stop Sophie from screaming (teething) and Makayla wasn't listening to her! Take note here that I was late to work Friday morning because my alarm clock did not go off that morning (thankyou stupid thunderstorm) so my boss wasn't exactly happy with me to begin with. I had to call him and tell him that I had to leave work for the rest of the day to go and get my children. So I go and do that and get everyone home and settled. Later that afternoon I start getting stomach pain. I thought I had a run of the mill stomach virus and thought nothing of it until later when it got so bad that I couldn't even stand up. The nausea itself was terrible!!! My darling husband had to call 911, wake our girls and follow the ambulance to the emergency room. After finally getting checked out by the doctor they ruled all viral causes out and ordered a cat scan of my abdomen. They then found that it was my appendix and I was rushed down to Roper hospital for a Laparscopic Appendectomy (forgive me if I spelled that wrong) that was 1 am Saturday morning I think ( I was a bit out of it as I think that they gave me something for the pain after they found out that it was my appendix). I was rushed down there and they got me ready for surgery I don't remember much but I do remember that they strapped my arms and legs down to the table before surgery ( did not like that part one bit) then they put the little anesthetic face mask thingee on me and it felt like it stayed on there for a while and it felt like it wasn't working. I started to freak out thinking that they were going to start the surgery on me before I was out. Like I said I don't remember much before they brought me round after the surgery.
After I woke up my vision was really blurry but they said that it was because of the gel stuff that they put on my eyes pre op, my throat was really sore but that was because of the tube that they put down my throat (not sure what that part was for) and I was really sore from my ribcage up especially on my right side. Oh, and sometime before I was really awake my iv burst and soaked my left arm and hospital gown with iv fluid and blood (really not cool). I'm home now and recovering thankfully. Everything is still really sore and I'm kindof scared to take a shower because all they put on my insicions (which there are three) is this clear derma bond stuff) and I'm scared it's going to dissolve or something. I'm going to call the dr in the morning.
I'm going to be at my mother's house for the next day or so until I can start lifting again. The doctor said that I can't really lift anything over three pounds for the next two weeks so it's going to be interesting to see how my mother and I get on. We love eachother better from our own houses.
Oh, I got a new puppy!!! I almost forgot about him. He is sooo wonderful. He's a daschund chiuahha mix and black and tan. So completely cute and loyal. He has stayed with me all day since we got home, and he will be going with me and the girls when we get to my mothers. Oh, his name is Maximillon Wadford. The newest addition to our family.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Yesterday was a very good day for me! I had prayed a few days ago and asked God to send me what I needed, worded just that way. Immediately I thought of First Thessalonians. Now I have problems sometimes discerning whether the answers I get are in fact from God or if it's just my weird brain. But I went and opened my Bible to Thessalonians and God showed me this,
" That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory. For this cause also thank we God without ceasing because when ye received the work of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe."
As I read this I felt so awful knowing that I had not walked worthy of God. My pastor spoke a sermon once about David and how he had displeased God, and the sorrow that he felt knowing he made the Lord unhappy. I understand these words now. At the same time I was feeling awful I also felt an overwhelming joy at understanding God's never ending patience and love and forgiveness.
This past Sunday P. Jason said that just because you are saved doesn't mean that Satan will leave you alone. This is soo true!! The temptation to do so many things is as ever present as it always has been and because you God's child the devil will try his hardest because nothing makes him happier than to steal away one of God's children.
" That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory. For this cause also thank we God without ceasing because when ye received the work of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe."
As I read this I felt so awful knowing that I had not walked worthy of God. My pastor spoke a sermon once about David and how he had displeased God, and the sorrow that he felt knowing he made the Lord unhappy. I understand these words now. At the same time I was feeling awful I also felt an overwhelming joy at understanding God's never ending patience and love and forgiveness.
This past Sunday P. Jason said that just because you are saved doesn't mean that Satan will leave you alone. This is soo true!! The temptation to do so many things is as ever present as it always has been and because you God's child the devil will try his hardest because nothing makes him happier than to steal away one of God's children.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Calling All Strays
Ok, this post is particularly hard for me because I've had some recent realizations about my life and actions. Both of which were not in accordance to God's Word. The first way I had strayed from God's Word is that I ignored my husband and let our marriage slip to a state where it needed dire attention, (which thankfully we are repairing). Secondly I placed my own personal ambitions ahead of my family, that is not to say that I did not care for my family just that I worked and constantly had work on my mind. Thirdly I had missed going to church, and therefore missed the nourishment that comes from fellowship with other Christians. The Word says that where two or more are gathered there I am (I being God). I promised the Lord that I would serve him and raise my children to love and serve Him, and I have slacked off on that promise. It is particularly painful when you love the Lord and you know that you have not been true to promises made to Him. I know I am not perfect and that God knows this as well. I am not perfect but I can still strive to please God and be a blessing to my husband and my family. I can bless my home by keeping it clean. I can bless my children by teaching them about God and His Word. I can bless my husband by respecting him and being obedient, (note here that I very much want to add "within reason" but that would not be in accordance with the Bible"). I will be a loving person and strive to bless others with the peace that God has given me. I will do my very best to hold on to that peace on hectic days when it seems like nothing has gotten done. I can devote time to prayer and try to openly receive God's answers to my prayers, even if they may not be the ones I had expected.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Lost and Found
Wow, where do I start this post?
Over the past few weeks I have noticed something that is disturbing. I have become so caught up in being mom and wife that I have almost completely forgotten who I am as a person. If someone asks me something that's not related to Lance or our kids I practically draw a blank. Example - This past Christmas my mother in law (who I am so blessed to have as family) asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Immediately I started telling her that our oldest needed a new pair of shoes, clothes for Sophia (our youngest), just general stuff for the kids. She stopped me and asked what I wanted for Christmas, UM? It took me two days to come up with a list, a very small list. If it keeps going like this I won't have any idea who I am separate from my husband and kids, to be honest that completely terrifies me. I'll wake up one morning and be like a weird soccer mom robot!!!!
So, in effort to get me back I have started to compile a list, Things I like, don't like, values, ect...
Over the past few weeks I have noticed something that is disturbing. I have become so caught up in being mom and wife that I have almost completely forgotten who I am as a person. If someone asks me something that's not related to Lance or our kids I practically draw a blank. Example - This past Christmas my mother in law (who I am so blessed to have as family) asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Immediately I started telling her that our oldest needed a new pair of shoes, clothes for Sophia (our youngest), just general stuff for the kids. She stopped me and asked what I wanted for Christmas, UM? It took me two days to come up with a list, a very small list. If it keeps going like this I won't have any idea who I am separate from my husband and kids, to be honest that completely terrifies me. I'll wake up one morning and be like a weird soccer mom robot!!!!
So, in effort to get me back I have started to compile a list, Things I like, don't like, values, ect...
Top 10 Things That I Like
1 - COFFEE - Hey I'm mom to a two year old and a four month old, honestly I need like an I.V or something!
2 - Summer rain storms - Not like the really big ones with winds strong enough to knock your trees down, but the ones that last just long enough so that when they are over the air smells of country and rain and all things alive.
3 - Historical Romance Novels - I'm a sucker for this kind of thing, there's a part of me that just wants to be swept away.
4 - Long hot showers - the kind that steam up the whole bathroom!!!
5 - Legos - Ok, so maybe it's not the "adult" thing, but really what's not awesome about Legos?
6 - Wall Murals - I'm in the process of renovating the inside of my house and I fully intend it to be really cool!!!
7 - Animals - Not just the normal cats and dogs, I love all animals (ok, maybe not spiders)
8 - Did I mention Coffee? Ok, well then 8 has to be Cooking, I love to be able to make something and then watch the faces of the people eating whatever I've concocted.
9 - The Sea - she has so many moods
10 - Letters - I mean the "old fashioned" handwritten, snail mail type.
1 - COFFEE - Hey I'm mom to a two year old and a four month old, honestly I need like an I.V or something!
2 - Summer rain storms - Not like the really big ones with winds strong enough to knock your trees down, but the ones that last just long enough so that when they are over the air smells of country and rain and all things alive.
3 - Historical Romance Novels - I'm a sucker for this kind of thing, there's a part of me that just wants to be swept away.
4 - Long hot showers - the kind that steam up the whole bathroom!!!
5 - Legos - Ok, so maybe it's not the "adult" thing, but really what's not awesome about Legos?
6 - Wall Murals - I'm in the process of renovating the inside of my house and I fully intend it to be really cool!!!
7 - Animals - Not just the normal cats and dogs, I love all animals (ok, maybe not spiders)
8 - Did I mention Coffee? Ok, well then 8 has to be Cooking, I love to be able to make something and then watch the faces of the people eating whatever I've concocted.
9 - The Sea - she has so many moods
10 - Letters - I mean the "old fashioned" handwritten, snail mail type.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Where do I even start this post. Lets begin by saying that I've not been to church the last two weeks. Not because we woke up late, not because the car wouldn't start. Just because. How terrible is that? Ok, not so terrible tons of people opt for not going to church.
I did something over the past week that I kind of feel guilty about. Is cyber sex cheating? Like if you do it once (and just once). Hubby is gone almost all the time with his job. I can't believe I'm trying to justify this! I tell you it's been a really weird week.
I've got my post tape test tomorrow and then after that I should be able to take my GED test. After that it's on to the college admissions office for enrollment in the fall semester.
I did something over the past week that I kind of feel guilty about. Is cyber sex cheating? Like if you do it once (and just once). Hubby is gone almost all the time with his job. I can't believe I'm trying to justify this! I tell you it's been a really weird week.
I've got my post tape test tomorrow and then after that I should be able to take my GED test. After that it's on to the college admissions office for enrollment in the fall semester.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Onward Ho!!
The Week of Frustration goes on. Today I had to go to work, so I woke up at five thirty thinking that it was six thirty. I went out to crank up my car and the darn thing would not acquiesce to my simple request for it to start!!! The result of its defiance resulted in my not getting to work until almost eleven! Thankfully though, my husband was able to finally figure out what was killing my battery. Apparently there was a loose wire somewhere under that mysterious hood and it was keeping my fuel pump on. So I'm hoping that I won't have this problem again.
School wise, we started working on our essays for the GED this week. I've got a pretty good rough draft so far but it still needs some tweaking here and there to make it perfect. At seventy dollars per test attempt I can't afford not to pay attention. Also on the fourteenth of next month our class is going to be going to check out Trident Technical College's campus. I'm going to talk to the administration people if I can and see about enrolling for the fall semester. I've decided to take the courses required to be a Lab Technician. Aside from the fact that they make pretty good money, I'll always have a job so long as people keep getting sick. Plus the microscopes and tests they get to run are pretty cool!!
It has been a long day so I'm going to hop in the shower and try to get a good nights sleep.
School wise, we started working on our essays for the GED this week. I've got a pretty good rough draft so far but it still needs some tweaking here and there to make it perfect. At seventy dollars per test attempt I can't afford not to pay attention. Also on the fourteenth of next month our class is going to be going to check out Trident Technical College's campus. I'm going to talk to the administration people if I can and see about enrolling for the fall semester. I've decided to take the courses required to be a Lab Technician. Aside from the fact that they make pretty good money, I'll always have a job so long as people keep getting sick. Plus the microscopes and tests they get to run are pretty cool!!
It has been a long day so I'm going to hop in the shower and try to get a good nights sleep.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Karma
Well, I know it's been a while since I've contributed to this blog. My computer has decided to misbehave. My dh took it to a friend of ours who works his technical magic with our circuit boards and between him and my husband ( mostly my husband) they managed to break what was already broken. So I am writing off of hubby's laptop.
But that is so not the topic of todays entry!
Do you believe in karma? That what you do will come back to you, full circle so to speak? Well I must have done something awful for the day I've had today. I went to work this morning at six am. I had to wait till eight to call our doctor because my oldest daughter had been complaining that it hurt when she went pee. So I called and the only time that they were able to get us in was nine forty five. Ok, no problem, I would go back after the appointment was finished. I leave work, go to get Mak from the house, and take her to the doctors office. Everything got worked out and was fine. We leave the office and walk to our car, I get both her and me in without a hitch. I go to crank my car up and the stupid thing won't crank!! I've had this problem for a while now. In fact it got so bad at one point that my husband mounted a battery charger under my hood and now I have the plug sticking out of my grill. Every night when I get home all I have to do is plug it up to the extention cord and normally everything is fine. But she wouldn't crank.
My husband comes and jumps the car off. I think, "Ok, things will be fine from here on out". Boy was I wrong! I get out of the parking lot. Over the bridge and get a little way out of town and my drivers side rear tire blows out!! Take into account that the tire is the same tire that I replaced not even a month ago (a spare). So my husband comes (again) to fix it. He had to call his dad to bring him a better jack because he couldn't get the car high enough to change the tire. All of this happened before twelve today. And in the pouring rain no less! I also had class tonight. And tomorrow night. It can only go up from here lol. I'm exhausted so I'm for bed.
But that is so not the topic of todays entry!
Do you believe in karma? That what you do will come back to you, full circle so to speak? Well I must have done something awful for the day I've had today. I went to work this morning at six am. I had to wait till eight to call our doctor because my oldest daughter had been complaining that it hurt when she went pee. So I called and the only time that they were able to get us in was nine forty five. Ok, no problem, I would go back after the appointment was finished. I leave work, go to get Mak from the house, and take her to the doctors office. Everything got worked out and was fine. We leave the office and walk to our car, I get both her and me in without a hitch. I go to crank my car up and the stupid thing won't crank!! I've had this problem for a while now. In fact it got so bad at one point that my husband mounted a battery charger under my hood and now I have the plug sticking out of my grill. Every night when I get home all I have to do is plug it up to the extention cord and normally everything is fine. But she wouldn't crank.
My husband comes and jumps the car off. I think, "Ok, things will be fine from here on out". Boy was I wrong! I get out of the parking lot. Over the bridge and get a little way out of town and my drivers side rear tire blows out!! Take into account that the tire is the same tire that I replaced not even a month ago (a spare). So my husband comes (again) to fix it. He had to call his dad to bring him a better jack because he couldn't get the car high enough to change the tire. All of this happened before twelve today. And in the pouring rain no less! I also had class tonight. And tomorrow night. It can only go up from here lol. I'm exhausted so I'm for bed.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
It just never ends!
Well, I had to take Sophie back to the doctor today! She had awful diarrhea and a rash that spread all over her body and honestly freaked me out. I got to the doctor and found out that she had a sore throat and that a virus was causing all the other stuff. I tell you this is not a good week.
I think I've got bad karma or something. Since last month we have all come down with something or another, I've had to leave work several times because one of the kids got sick and today I picked up my sweet tea from Wendy's and the darn lid came right off soaking me in sweet tea (not fun). The weather lately has something to do with the fact that I feel completely unmotivated and downright grumpy. I am not a cold weather person and if I had my way I would live right on the equator! Our weather here in South Carolina has just been wonky, this past week has been freezing and they even called for snow and next week it's supposed to be in the seventies!!!!! Tell me how can a body get used to that kind of weather?
On the up side. I went last Tuesday to register for my GED (hooray) and I've started my classes for it. Monday and Tuesday evenings for the next three to five weeks. I've been saying and saying that I was going to go do that and this year I finally did it. After I get my GED I'm going to see about getting qualified to be a medical assistant. Hopefully everything will work out the way it's supposed to.
I think I've got bad karma or something. Since last month we have all come down with something or another, I've had to leave work several times because one of the kids got sick and today I picked up my sweet tea from Wendy's and the darn lid came right off soaking me in sweet tea (not fun). The weather lately has something to do with the fact that I feel completely unmotivated and downright grumpy. I am not a cold weather person and if I had my way I would live right on the equator! Our weather here in South Carolina has just been wonky, this past week has been freezing and they even called for snow and next week it's supposed to be in the seventies!!!!! Tell me how can a body get used to that kind of weather?
On the up side. I went last Tuesday to register for my GED (hooray) and I've started my classes for it. Monday and Tuesday evenings for the next three to five weeks. I've been saying and saying that I was going to go do that and this year I finally did it. After I get my GED I'm going to see about getting qualified to be a medical assistant. Hopefully everything will work out the way it's supposed to.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Really Long Week
It has been a rough couple of weeks! Last week I came down with this awful stomach virus. I swear, I just wanted to roll over and die! It was terrible. The nausea and vomiting, when I got over it, Makayla got it, then Lance, as soon as I realized how very contagious it was I immediately sent my three month old daughter, Sophie, to my mother in laws house. That's all I needed was a sick three month old I thought.
Then this week rolled around. Tuesday I ended up having to take Mak to the doctor, her nose had been running like Niagara Falls, they checked her out, and thankfully there was nothing in her lungs, so they just told me to give her benydrille to clear up her sinuses. Wednesday I was sick again, I was nauseous for some reason, still haven't figured that out, but I just chalked it up to after effects of the stomach thing. Friday is where it all goes to hell. I get up that morning to go to work, get every one ready to go. Everything seems fine. At about nine thirty that morning my mother calls me at work and tells me that Sophie (the baby) has a fever of 104!!! So I have to leave work and call the doctor. They tell me that they don't know whats causing it but because it was so high that they wanted to have a blood panel done to try and figure out what was going on. We get over to trident emergency room and they had to stick her three times just to get her to bleed enough to fill two little vials! I met my mother at huddle house while I waited for the pharmacy to fill a script and for the test results from Sophies blood work. The doctor finally calls me right when I'm heading home and tells me that she wants me to go down to Trident Main down on hwy 78. So I turn around and get to going that way when she calls me back and tells me that she would rather me go all the way down to MUSC pediatrics department. So onward I go. Sophie is still running the fever even after the baby tylenol and I'm starting to get really worried. It takes me about an hour and a half to get down to downtown Charleston, then it took me two hours just to find the stupid building!!! I tell you there is a reason I don't live in Charleston. She's still running the fever when I get her in the door. They call us back to her roomand take her temp 103.8. They give her some pedialyte and then we are there for two hours just waiting on the doctor to come look at her. They did one test on her urine ( they had to cath her - not fun) to rule out a UTI, nothing else, they didn't draw the first drop of blood, which was the whole reason that we were down there was to get blood cultures done because the original blood panel showed her white count was like way high. I was so upset that they weren't doing what they were supposed to. They didn't even have the test results from the Trident blood work!!!!!!!!!!!!! We got home around 11 30 pm. I woke up at five the next morning to go to work. I'm so glad this week is over.
Then this week rolled around. Tuesday I ended up having to take Mak to the doctor, her nose had been running like Niagara Falls, they checked her out, and thankfully there was nothing in her lungs, so they just told me to give her benydrille to clear up her sinuses. Wednesday I was sick again, I was nauseous for some reason, still haven't figured that out, but I just chalked it up to after effects of the stomach thing. Friday is where it all goes to hell. I get up that morning to go to work, get every one ready to go. Everything seems fine. At about nine thirty that morning my mother calls me at work and tells me that Sophie (the baby) has a fever of 104!!! So I have to leave work and call the doctor. They tell me that they don't know whats causing it but because it was so high that they wanted to have a blood panel done to try and figure out what was going on. We get over to trident emergency room and they had to stick her three times just to get her to bleed enough to fill two little vials! I met my mother at huddle house while I waited for the pharmacy to fill a script and for the test results from Sophies blood work. The doctor finally calls me right when I'm heading home and tells me that she wants me to go down to Trident Main down on hwy 78. So I turn around and get to going that way when she calls me back and tells me that she would rather me go all the way down to MUSC pediatrics department. So onward I go. Sophie is still running the fever even after the baby tylenol and I'm starting to get really worried. It takes me about an hour and a half to get down to downtown Charleston, then it took me two hours just to find the stupid building!!! I tell you there is a reason I don't live in Charleston. She's still running the fever when I get her in the door. They call us back to her roomand take her temp 103.8. They give her some pedialyte and then we are there for two hours just waiting on the doctor to come look at her. They did one test on her urine ( they had to cath her - not fun) to rule out a UTI, nothing else, they didn't draw the first drop of blood, which was the whole reason that we were down there was to get blood cultures done because the original blood panel showed her white count was like way high. I was so upset that they weren't doing what they were supposed to. They didn't even have the test results from the Trident blood work!!!!!!!!!!!!! We got home around 11 30 pm. I woke up at five the next morning to go to work. I'm so glad this week is over.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Today was a bit rough.
Does anyone out there have a spouse or significant other who, in the mornings, lays in bed instead of getting up and getting their day started? Well, my hubby and I have two kids, two cats and a dog, so when the girls wake up and the dog is at our bedside ready to be let out our day has no choice but to begin. However, instead of getting out of bed, getting dressed and helping with things, hubby lays in bed and tells me that he's "trying to get up" I don't know any twenty eight year old man who has to try to get up in the mornings. He has no health issues, not infirm or anything like that. I think he just doesn't want to get up. That infuriates me to no end. I end up asking him nicely to please get out of bed at least five times, before switching to baby it's time to get up, and eventually yelling his name and telling him to get up! I swear sometimes it feels like I have a three kids instead of two!! Do all men do this, I have known a few men who are wonderful when it comes to helping out around the house and doing their fair share and what not. But everything I ask Lance to do, that's if he ends up doing it, he does with a bad attitude. Honestly I'd rather do it myself than have to exert more effort to ask him to do something than the effort it would take just to get it done. I refuse to believe that just because men are men that they cannot remember to put their socks in the hamper, or throw their damn mountain dew bottles away! I'm tired of talking to him about this, I'm tired of arguing to him about it.
Onward, we went to church, where the sermon was about temptation. P. Jason said that it is not a sin to be tempted. Well let me tell you lately I've been tempted to do alot of things. I've been tempted to cover the toilet bowl with saran wrap the next time Lance leaves the seat up. I've been tempted to nail his socks to the floor the next time he forgets that they don't go there. There is no lack of temptation in my house, the only problem is that I have run out of ways to avoid it. When Lance doesn't do the things he's supposed to do as a father and a husband then he forces me to be mean to him. I'm not a mean person. I don't enjoy being mean to him. My plan when I got married was not to continuously fight with my husband about who will do the dishes.
Now last Sunday P. Jason was talking about forgiveness, and at the end of the sermon, what really touched me was something he said about "Letting Go of The Rope" he said that anger is like a bell, when you pull the rope it rings and there's that echo that follows, and then you pull it again and again there's the echo. By letting go of the rope you let go of the anger that your holding on to, letting yourself be free of the weight that is holding you back from being closer to God. After you let go of that rope you will still hear the echo, but eventually it will get farther and farther away until you can no longer hear it at all. When he was preaching about forgiveness I was wondering about my marriage with my husband (obviously something I do alot of) Is it ok to be angry with someone, even for a little while? If my husband does something that upsets me or vice versa, after we are forgiven how do we go about resolving the issue that lead to us needing forgiveness in the first place? There is a verse in James I believe it is, it says be eager to listen slow to speak and slow to anger. Now I turned that verse over and over, I twisted it this way and that way, and still I could not apply that to my marriage. I understand what it's about, I know that the concept is sound and wise. But Lance and I are nearly constanly offending each other mostly over petty things. I don't know how to break this cycle. I want so badly for us to be closer, to be a better team, and to help each other, because after we get on the same page then it will be easier for us to see and understand God's plan for our marriage.
Back to temptation, while the pastor was speaking about the different kind of temptations I began to think on which of those I myself was guilty of giving in to. Right away a few came to mind. Procrastination, self indulgence, selfishness, just to name a few. I began to wonder how to go about actively resisting these temptations in my life. Do you suddenly wake up one morning and say to yourself, I'm not going to be that way anymore? Do you become harder on yourself and push yourself to do the things that are good for both you and those around you? Or do you just simply ask God to guide you, read His word, and try to become closer to Him in an effort to change the inside before the outside? I am not sure of many things. But one thing I do know, I am very glad I found my church, I have become closer to God now than I have in a very very long time. There are things now in my life that I'm just now starting to deal with, sort through and eventually let go. When you accept Christ, He does not tell you that the road you chose will be easier than the one you left. But He does tell you that He'll be there no matter how rough it gets, and when it comes down to it, having that kind of a companion, friend and mentor is a wonderful thing.
Does anyone out there have a spouse or significant other who, in the mornings, lays in bed instead of getting up and getting their day started? Well, my hubby and I have two kids, two cats and a dog, so when the girls wake up and the dog is at our bedside ready to be let out our day has no choice but to begin. However, instead of getting out of bed, getting dressed and helping with things, hubby lays in bed and tells me that he's "trying to get up" I don't know any twenty eight year old man who has to try to get up in the mornings. He has no health issues, not infirm or anything like that. I think he just doesn't want to get up. That infuriates me to no end. I end up asking him nicely to please get out of bed at least five times, before switching to baby it's time to get up, and eventually yelling his name and telling him to get up! I swear sometimes it feels like I have a three kids instead of two!! Do all men do this, I have known a few men who are wonderful when it comes to helping out around the house and doing their fair share and what not. But everything I ask Lance to do, that's if he ends up doing it, he does with a bad attitude. Honestly I'd rather do it myself than have to exert more effort to ask him to do something than the effort it would take just to get it done. I refuse to believe that just because men are men that they cannot remember to put their socks in the hamper, or throw their damn mountain dew bottles away! I'm tired of talking to him about this, I'm tired of arguing to him about it.
Onward, we went to church, where the sermon was about temptation. P. Jason said that it is not a sin to be tempted. Well let me tell you lately I've been tempted to do alot of things. I've been tempted to cover the toilet bowl with saran wrap the next time Lance leaves the seat up. I've been tempted to nail his socks to the floor the next time he forgets that they don't go there. There is no lack of temptation in my house, the only problem is that I have run out of ways to avoid it. When Lance doesn't do the things he's supposed to do as a father and a husband then he forces me to be mean to him. I'm not a mean person. I don't enjoy being mean to him. My plan when I got married was not to continuously fight with my husband about who will do the dishes.
Now last Sunday P. Jason was talking about forgiveness, and at the end of the sermon, what really touched me was something he said about "Letting Go of The Rope" he said that anger is like a bell, when you pull the rope it rings and there's that echo that follows, and then you pull it again and again there's the echo. By letting go of the rope you let go of the anger that your holding on to, letting yourself be free of the weight that is holding you back from being closer to God. After you let go of that rope you will still hear the echo, but eventually it will get farther and farther away until you can no longer hear it at all. When he was preaching about forgiveness I was wondering about my marriage with my husband (obviously something I do alot of) Is it ok to be angry with someone, even for a little while? If my husband does something that upsets me or vice versa, after we are forgiven how do we go about resolving the issue that lead to us needing forgiveness in the first place? There is a verse in James I believe it is, it says be eager to listen slow to speak and slow to anger. Now I turned that verse over and over, I twisted it this way and that way, and still I could not apply that to my marriage. I understand what it's about, I know that the concept is sound and wise. But Lance and I are nearly constanly offending each other mostly over petty things. I don't know how to break this cycle. I want so badly for us to be closer, to be a better team, and to help each other, because after we get on the same page then it will be easier for us to see and understand God's plan for our marriage.
Back to temptation, while the pastor was speaking about the different kind of temptations I began to think on which of those I myself was guilty of giving in to. Right away a few came to mind. Procrastination, self indulgence, selfishness, just to name a few. I began to wonder how to go about actively resisting these temptations in my life. Do you suddenly wake up one morning and say to yourself, I'm not going to be that way anymore? Do you become harder on yourself and push yourself to do the things that are good for both you and those around you? Or do you just simply ask God to guide you, read His word, and try to become closer to Him in an effort to change the inside before the outside? I am not sure of many things. But one thing I do know, I am very glad I found my church, I have become closer to God now than I have in a very very long time. There are things now in my life that I'm just now starting to deal with, sort through and eventually let go. When you accept Christ, He does not tell you that the road you chose will be easier than the one you left. But He does tell you that He'll be there no matter how rough it gets, and when it comes down to it, having that kind of a companion, friend and mentor is a wonderful thing.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Trying to help
Ahh, the things that have happened this past week! For starters my darling daughter Sophie turned three months old and is now smiling all the time and making those wonderful (note before I had kids these were just nauseating) cooing noises! She is beginning her attempts to crawl. I on the other hand am beginning to realize that my washer and dryer probably won't get a break for the next ten years or so. It's amazing how much the laundry increases with the addition of just one more. Even as I type my poor machines are working.
Now that Sophie is sleeping through the night good, my hubby and I decided that it was time she be relocated to her crib in the kids' bedroom. Surprisingly Makayla did not protest or cry or even try to get into the crib with her. She did however come and get into our bed..............at three in the morning. This morning however we got a special treat. She woke up before we did and decided that she was going to make Sophie a bottle! So she got the jug of water from the counter, she got the formula from the counter and a bottle out of the drain, (note, she had dragged her little chair in the kitchen to reach all of these things) and she proceeded to make the bottle..... on my couch! I didn't have the heart to yell at her, she was just trying to help after all. Don't know what to do about the three am bedroom migrations yet. I suppose it's just all part of getting used to having a sibling.
Lance (hubby) broke a tooth yesterday, he was working on a car and some how the wrench (or something) hit him in the mouth and broke his tooth. So he is in pain until he can see the dentist on Monday :(. He called into work and told them that Makayla had headbutted him!!! I laughed, blaming on the kid!!! I asked him if he couldn't have come up with a better story. Guess we'll have to see what next week brings.
Now that Sophie is sleeping through the night good, my hubby and I decided that it was time she be relocated to her crib in the kids' bedroom. Surprisingly Makayla did not protest or cry or even try to get into the crib with her. She did however come and get into our bed..............at three in the morning. This morning however we got a special treat. She woke up before we did and decided that she was going to make Sophie a bottle! So she got the jug of water from the counter, she got the formula from the counter and a bottle out of the drain, (note, she had dragged her little chair in the kitchen to reach all of these things) and she proceeded to make the bottle..... on my couch! I didn't have the heart to yell at her, she was just trying to help after all. Don't know what to do about the three am bedroom migrations yet. I suppose it's just all part of getting used to having a sibling.
Lance (hubby) broke a tooth yesterday, he was working on a car and some how the wrench (or something) hit him in the mouth and broke his tooth. So he is in pain until he can see the dentist on Monday :(. He called into work and told them that Makayla had headbutted him!!! I laughed, blaming on the kid!!! I asked him if he couldn't have come up with a better story. Guess we'll have to see what next week brings.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Ok, a few bits of good news. Hoorah, Barrack Obama has made history as the first ever African American president of our country! Also on his inauguration day it snowed here in St. Stephen South Carolina! Surely a sign of good things.
Another bit of news, I've FINALLY gone back to work! I've been out on maternity leave for my youngest daughter Sophia Wren. She is now ten weeks old, way past time to go back to work. There are some women out there who are more than happy to stay at home and tend to their children and clean house and cook meals, however I am not among that population of women. I personally believe that housework is dangerous to one's health (if I ever win the lottery I will donate a significant amount of money to whichever organization can prove that fact) and I avoid it if at all possible. Now for a wee bit of bad news, I have gone back to work, however I do not make enough to pay a daycare to watch the girls and my mother watches them three days a week (what I've started out at to get used to working and tending to children), she said that she will not watch them more than three days out of the week because she doesn't want me to go back to work full time. (ug) I am dying to go back to work full time. I actually enjoy conversations that don't begin with Mommie. I love my children, I just don't want to stay home with them all the time. Is that wrong?
Oh, I've managed to get a table at the Chili Cook off in Whitesville this Saturday, as a crafter. Some of my paintings will be on display there, hopefully I'll see some interest in them. I'll post about that after the weekend.
Another bit of news, I've FINALLY gone back to work! I've been out on maternity leave for my youngest daughter Sophia Wren. She is now ten weeks old, way past time to go back to work. There are some women out there who are more than happy to stay at home and tend to their children and clean house and cook meals, however I am not among that population of women. I personally believe that housework is dangerous to one's health (if I ever win the lottery I will donate a significant amount of money to whichever organization can prove that fact) and I avoid it if at all possible. Now for a wee bit of bad news, I have gone back to work, however I do not make enough to pay a daycare to watch the girls and my mother watches them three days a week (what I've started out at to get used to working and tending to children), she said that she will not watch them more than three days out of the week because she doesn't want me to go back to work full time. (ug) I am dying to go back to work full time. I actually enjoy conversations that don't begin with Mommie. I love my children, I just don't want to stay home with them all the time. Is that wrong?
Oh, I've managed to get a table at the Chili Cook off in Whitesville this Saturday, as a crafter. Some of my paintings will be on display there, hopefully I'll see some interest in them. I'll post about that after the weekend.
Friday, January 16, 2009
I suppose I should start off with a basic bio of me and mine. I'm twenty three years old. My birthday is in December so it's always too damn cold to do the cool stuff. I'm married to a twenty seven year old firefighter (we'll get to that later). We have two truly wonderful girls, Makayla (Mak) is two and a half and Sophie is three months. We live in South Carolina, the country.
It's odd really, the place I hated so much was and is the exact place I came back to. Strange how a persons vision can change from one period of their life to another. But after traveling around for a few years, seeing the cities, the people, I came back. I guess its because it was familiar, in twenty two years this small town hasn't changed save for the new batch of kids running around. I was with the last batch. Through elementary and grade school, fights and boyfriends (another subject which I will devote at least a few words on). After we were out of school everyone up and married right away. Oh by the way I didn't graduate, obviously that decision has not affected my level of knowledge considering the state of the southern educational system. No, I didn't graduate high school. I left home when I was fourteen, the very long story short, I moved around worked for the people that really didn't care how old you were and paid cash. (No that does not mean that I was in any kind of prostitution or very illegal activities). I saw different places, fell in love with french canadian food, had a string of really meaningless relationships, alot of great sex, and a whole lot of late nights. I did what I wanted when I wanted. There was no grounding wire to me then, but every coin has two sides. I had no connection to anything because I didn't stay in one place for more than a week or so, there was no sense of accountability present. I could always just leave.
It's odd really, the place I hated so much was and is the exact place I came back to. Strange how a persons vision can change from one period of their life to another. But after traveling around for a few years, seeing the cities, the people, I came back. I guess its because it was familiar, in twenty two years this small town hasn't changed save for the new batch of kids running around. I was with the last batch. Through elementary and grade school, fights and boyfriends (another subject which I will devote at least a few words on). After we were out of school everyone up and married right away. Oh by the way I didn't graduate, obviously that decision has not affected my level of knowledge considering the state of the southern educational system. No, I didn't graduate high school. I left home when I was fourteen, the very long story short, I moved around worked for the people that really didn't care how old you were and paid cash. (No that does not mean that I was in any kind of prostitution or very illegal activities). I saw different places, fell in love with french canadian food, had a string of really meaningless relationships, alot of great sex, and a whole lot of late nights. I did what I wanted when I wanted. There was no grounding wire to me then, but every coin has two sides. I had no connection to anything because I didn't stay in one place for more than a week or so, there was no sense of accountability present. I could always just leave.
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