Today was a bit rough.

Does anyone out there have a spouse or significant other who, in the mornings, lays in bed instead of getting up and getting their day started? Well, my hubby and I have two kids, two cats and a dog, so when the girls wake up and the dog is at our bedside ready to be let out our day has no choice but to begin. However, instead of getting out of bed, getting dressed and helping with things, hubby lays in bed and tells me that he's "trying to get up" I don't know any twenty eight year old man who has to try to get up in the mornings. He has no health issues, not infirm or anything like that. I think he just doesn't want to get up. That infuriates me to no end. I end up asking him nicely to please get out of bed at least five times, before switching to baby it's time to get up, and eventually yelling his name and telling him to get up! I swear sometimes it feels like I have a three kids instead of two!! Do all men do this, I have known a few men who are wonderful when it comes to helping out around the house and doing their fair share and what not. But everything I ask Lance to do, that's if he ends up doing it, he does with a bad attitude. Honestly I'd rather do it myself than have to exert more effort to ask him to do something than the effort it would take just to get it done. I refuse to believe that just because men are men that they cannot remember to put their socks in the hamper, or throw their damn mountain dew bottles away! I'm tired of talking to him about this, I'm tired of arguing to him about it.

Onward, we went to church, where the sermon was about temptation. P. Jason said that it is not a sin to be tempted. Well let me tell you lately I've been tempted to do alot of things. I've been tempted to cover the toilet bowl with saran wrap the next time Lance leaves the seat up. I've been tempted to nail his socks to the floor the next time he forgets that they don't go there. There is no lack of temptation in my house, the only problem is that I have run out of ways to avoid it. When Lance doesn't do the things he's supposed to do as a father and a husband then he forces me to be mean to him. I'm not a mean person. I don't enjoy being mean to him. My plan when I got married was not to continuously fight with my husband about who will do the dishes.

Now last Sunday P. Jason was talking about forgiveness, and at the end of the sermon, what really touched me was something he said about "Letting Go of The Rope" he said that anger is like a bell, when you pull the rope it rings and there's that echo that follows, and then you pull it again and again there's the echo. By letting go of the rope you let go of the anger that your holding on to, letting yourself be free of the weight that is holding you back from being closer to God. After you let go of that rope you will still hear the echo, but eventually it will get farther and farther away until you can no longer hear it at all. When he was preaching about forgiveness I was wondering about my marriage with my husband (obviously something I do alot of) Is it ok to be angry with someone, even for a little while? If my husband does something that upsets me or vice versa, after we are forgiven how do we go about resolving the issue that lead to us needing forgiveness in the first place? There is a verse in James I believe it is, it says be eager to listen slow to speak and slow to anger. Now I turned that verse over and over, I twisted it this way and that way, and still I could not apply that to my marriage. I understand what it's about, I know that the concept is sound and wise. But Lance and I are nearly constanly offending each other mostly over petty things. I don't know how to break this cycle. I want so badly for us to be closer, to be a better team, and to help each other, because after we get on the same page then it will be easier for us to see and understand God's plan for our marriage.

Back to temptation, while the pastor was speaking about the different kind of temptations I began to think on which of those I myself was guilty of giving in to. Right away a few came to mind. Procrastination, self indulgence, selfishness, just to name a few. I began to wonder how to go about actively resisting these temptations in my life. Do you suddenly wake up one morning and say to yourself, I'm not going to be that way anymore? Do you become harder on yourself and push yourself to do the things that are good for both you and those around you? Or do you just simply ask God to guide you, read His word, and try to become closer to Him in an effort to change the inside before the outside? I am not sure of many things. But one thing I do know, I am very glad I found my church, I have become closer to God now than I have in a very very long time. There are things now in my life that I'm just now starting to deal with, sort through and eventually let go. When you accept Christ, He does not tell you that the road you chose will be easier than the one you left. But He does tell you that He'll be there no matter how rough it gets, and when it comes down to it, having that kind of a companion, friend and mentor is a wonderful thing.

Trying to help

Ahh, the things that have happened this past week! For starters my darling daughter Sophie turned three months old and is now smiling all the time and making those wonderful (note before I had kids these were just nauseating) cooing noises! She is beginning her attempts to crawl. I on the other hand am beginning to realize that my washer and dryer probably won't get a break for the next ten years or so. It's amazing how much the laundry increases with the addition of just one more. Even as I type my poor machines are working.

Now that Sophie is sleeping through the night good, my hubby and I decided that it was time she be relocated to her crib in the kids' bedroom. Surprisingly Makayla did not protest or cry or even try to get into the crib with her. She did however come and get into our bed..............at three in the morning. This morning however we got a special treat. She woke up before we did and decided that she was going to make Sophie a bottle! So she got the jug of water from the counter, she got the formula from the counter and a bottle out of the drain, (note, she had dragged her little chair in the kitchen to reach all of these things) and she proceeded to make the bottle..... on my couch! I didn't have the heart to yell at her, she was just trying to help after all. Don't know what to do about the three am bedroom migrations yet. I suppose it's just all part of getting used to having a sibling.

Lance (hubby) broke a tooth yesterday, he was working on a car and some how the wrench (or something) hit him in the mouth and broke his tooth. So he is in pain until he can see the dentist on Monday :(. He called into work and told them that Makayla had headbutted him!!! I laughed, blaming on the kid!!! I asked him if he couldn't have come up with a better story. Guess we'll have to see what next week brings.