Where do I even start this post. Lets begin by saying that I've not been to church the last two weeks. Not because we woke up late, not because the car wouldn't start. Just because. How terrible is that? Ok, not so terrible tons of people opt for not going to church.

I did something over the past week that I kind of feel guilty about. Is cyber sex cheating? Like if you do it once (and just once). Hubby is gone almost all the time with his job. I can't believe I'm trying to justify this! I tell you it's been a really weird week.

I've got my post tape test tomorrow and then after that I should be able to take my GED test. After that it's on to the college admissions office for enrollment in the fall semester.

Onward Ho!!

The Week of Frustration goes on. Today I had to go to work, so I woke up at five thirty thinking that it was six thirty. I went out to crank up my car and the darn thing would not acquiesce to my simple request for it to start!!! The result of its defiance resulted in my not getting to work until almost eleven! Thankfully though, my husband was able to finally figure out what was killing my battery. Apparently there was a loose wire somewhere under that mysterious hood and it was keeping my fuel pump on. So I'm hoping that I won't have this problem again.

School wise, we started working on our essays for the GED this week. I've got a pretty good rough draft so far but it still needs some tweaking here and there to make it perfect. At seventy dollars per test attempt I can't afford not to pay attention. Also on the fourteenth of next month our class is going to be going to check out Trident Technical College's campus. I'm going to talk to the administration people if I can and see about enrolling for the fall semester. I've decided to take the courses required to be a Lab Technician. Aside from the fact that they make pretty good money, I'll always have a job so long as people keep getting sick. Plus the microscopes and tests they get to run are pretty cool!!

It has been a long day so I'm going to hop in the shower and try to get a good nights sleep.

Karma

Well, I know it's been a while since I've contributed to this blog. My computer has decided to misbehave. My dh took it to a friend of ours who works his technical magic with our circuit boards and between him and my husband ( mostly my husband) they managed to break what was already broken. So I am writing off of hubby's laptop.

But that is so not the topic of todays entry!

Do you believe in karma? That what you do will come back to you, full circle so to speak? Well I must have done something awful for the day I've had today. I went to work this morning at six am. I had to wait till eight to call our doctor because my oldest daughter had been complaining that it hurt when she went pee. So I called and the only time that they were able to get us in was nine forty five. Ok, no problem, I would go back after the appointment was finished. I leave work, go to get Mak from the house, and take her to the doctors office. Everything got worked out and was fine. We leave the office and walk to our car, I get both her and me in without a hitch. I go to crank my car up and the stupid thing won't crank!! I've had this problem for a while now. In fact it got so bad at one point that my husband mounted a battery charger under my hood and now I have the plug sticking out of my grill. Every night when I get home all I have to do is plug it up to the extention cord and normally everything is fine. But she wouldn't crank.

My husband comes and jumps the car off. I think, "Ok, things will be fine from here on out". Boy was I wrong! I get out of the parking lot. Over the bridge and get a little way out of town and my drivers side rear tire blows out!! Take into account that the tire is the same tire that I replaced not even a month ago (a spare). So my husband comes (again) to fix it. He had to call his dad to bring him a better jack because he couldn't get the car high enough to change the tire. All of this happened before twelve today. And in the pouring rain no less! I also had class tonight. And tomorrow night. It can only go up from here lol. I'm exhausted so I'm for bed.

It just never ends!

Well, I had to take Sophie back to the doctor today! She had awful diarrhea and a rash that spread all over her body and honestly freaked me out. I got to the doctor and found out that she had a sore throat and that a virus was causing all the other stuff. I tell you this is not a good week.

I think I've got bad karma or something. Since last month we have all come down with something or another, I've had to leave work several times because one of the kids got sick and today I picked up my sweet tea from Wendy's and the darn lid came right off soaking me in sweet tea (not fun). The weather lately has something to do with the fact that I feel completely unmotivated and downright grumpy. I am not a cold weather person and if I had my way I would live right on the equator! Our weather here in South Carolina has just been wonky, this past week has been freezing and they even called for snow and next week it's supposed to be in the seventies!!!!! Tell me how can a body get used to that kind of weather?

On the up side. I went last Tuesday to register for my GED (hooray) and I've started my classes for it. Monday and Tuesday evenings for the next three to five weeks. I've been saying and saying that I was going to go do that and this year I finally did it. After I get my GED I'm going to see about getting qualified to be a medical assistant. Hopefully everything will work out the way it's supposed to.

Really Long Week

It has been a rough couple of weeks! Last week I came down with this awful stomach virus. I swear, I just wanted to roll over and die! It was terrible. The nausea and vomiting, when I got over it, Makayla got it, then Lance, as soon as I realized how very contagious it was I immediately sent my three month old daughter, Sophie, to my mother in laws house. That's all I needed was a sick three month old I thought.

Then this week rolled around. Tuesday I ended up having to take Mak to the doctor, her nose had been running like Niagara Falls, they checked her out, and thankfully there was nothing in her lungs, so they just told me to give her benydrille to clear up her sinuses. Wednesday I was sick again, I was nauseous for some reason, still haven't figured that out, but I just chalked it up to after effects of the stomach thing. Friday is where it all goes to hell. I get up that morning to go to work, get every one ready to go. Everything seems fine. At about nine thirty that morning my mother calls me at work and tells me that Sophie (the baby) has a fever of 104!!! So I have to leave work and call the doctor. They tell me that they don't know whats causing it but because it was so high that they wanted to have a blood panel done to try and figure out what was going on. We get over to trident emergency room and they had to stick her three times just to get her to bleed enough to fill two little vials! I met my mother at huddle house while I waited for the pharmacy to fill a script and for the test results from Sophies blood work. The doctor finally calls me right when I'm heading home and tells me that she wants me to go down to Trident Main down on hwy 78. So I turn around and get to going that way when she calls me back and tells me that she would rather me go all the way down to MUSC pediatrics department. So onward I go. Sophie is still running the fever even after the baby tylenol and I'm starting to get really worried. It takes me about an hour and a half to get down to downtown Charleston, then it took me two hours just to find the stupid building!!! I tell you there is a reason I don't live in Charleston. She's still running the fever when I get her in the door. They call us back to her roomand take her temp 103.8. They give her some pedialyte and then we are there for two hours just waiting on the doctor to come look at her. They did one test on her urine ( they had to cath her - not fun) to rule out a UTI, nothing else, they didn't draw the first drop of blood, which was the whole reason that we were down there was to get blood cultures done because the original blood panel showed her white count was like way high. I was so upset that they weren't doing what they were supposed to. They didn't even have the test results from the Trident blood work!!!!!!!!!!!!! We got home around 11 30 pm. I woke up at five the next morning to go to work. I'm so glad this week is over.

Today was a bit rough.

Does anyone out there have a spouse or significant other who, in the mornings, lays in bed instead of getting up and getting their day started? Well, my hubby and I have two kids, two cats and a dog, so when the girls wake up and the dog is at our bedside ready to be let out our day has no choice but to begin. However, instead of getting out of bed, getting dressed and helping with things, hubby lays in bed and tells me that he's "trying to get up" I don't know any twenty eight year old man who has to try to get up in the mornings. He has no health issues, not infirm or anything like that. I think he just doesn't want to get up. That infuriates me to no end. I end up asking him nicely to please get out of bed at least five times, before switching to baby it's time to get up, and eventually yelling his name and telling him to get up! I swear sometimes it feels like I have a three kids instead of two!! Do all men do this, I have known a few men who are wonderful when it comes to helping out around the house and doing their fair share and what not. But everything I ask Lance to do, that's if he ends up doing it, he does with a bad attitude. Honestly I'd rather do it myself than have to exert more effort to ask him to do something than the effort it would take just to get it done. I refuse to believe that just because men are men that they cannot remember to put their socks in the hamper, or throw their damn mountain dew bottles away! I'm tired of talking to him about this, I'm tired of arguing to him about it.

Onward, we went to church, where the sermon was about temptation. P. Jason said that it is not a sin to be tempted. Well let me tell you lately I've been tempted to do alot of things. I've been tempted to cover the toilet bowl with saran wrap the next time Lance leaves the seat up. I've been tempted to nail his socks to the floor the next time he forgets that they don't go there. There is no lack of temptation in my house, the only problem is that I have run out of ways to avoid it. When Lance doesn't do the things he's supposed to do as a father and a husband then he forces me to be mean to him. I'm not a mean person. I don't enjoy being mean to him. My plan when I got married was not to continuously fight with my husband about who will do the dishes.

Now last Sunday P. Jason was talking about forgiveness, and at the end of the sermon, what really touched me was something he said about "Letting Go of The Rope" he said that anger is like a bell, when you pull the rope it rings and there's that echo that follows, and then you pull it again and again there's the echo. By letting go of the rope you let go of the anger that your holding on to, letting yourself be free of the weight that is holding you back from being closer to God. After you let go of that rope you will still hear the echo, but eventually it will get farther and farther away until you can no longer hear it at all. When he was preaching about forgiveness I was wondering about my marriage with my husband (obviously something I do alot of) Is it ok to be angry with someone, even for a little while? If my husband does something that upsets me or vice versa, after we are forgiven how do we go about resolving the issue that lead to us needing forgiveness in the first place? There is a verse in James I believe it is, it says be eager to listen slow to speak and slow to anger. Now I turned that verse over and over, I twisted it this way and that way, and still I could not apply that to my marriage. I understand what it's about, I know that the concept is sound and wise. But Lance and I are nearly constanly offending each other mostly over petty things. I don't know how to break this cycle. I want so badly for us to be closer, to be a better team, and to help each other, because after we get on the same page then it will be easier for us to see and understand God's plan for our marriage.

Back to temptation, while the pastor was speaking about the different kind of temptations I began to think on which of those I myself was guilty of giving in to. Right away a few came to mind. Procrastination, self indulgence, selfishness, just to name a few. I began to wonder how to go about actively resisting these temptations in my life. Do you suddenly wake up one morning and say to yourself, I'm not going to be that way anymore? Do you become harder on yourself and push yourself to do the things that are good for both you and those around you? Or do you just simply ask God to guide you, read His word, and try to become closer to Him in an effort to change the inside before the outside? I am not sure of many things. But one thing I do know, I am very glad I found my church, I have become closer to God now than I have in a very very long time. There are things now in my life that I'm just now starting to deal with, sort through and eventually let go. When you accept Christ, He does not tell you that the road you chose will be easier than the one you left. But He does tell you that He'll be there no matter how rough it gets, and when it comes down to it, having that kind of a companion, friend and mentor is a wonderful thing.

Trying to help

Ahh, the things that have happened this past week! For starters my darling daughter Sophie turned three months old and is now smiling all the time and making those wonderful (note before I had kids these were just nauseating) cooing noises! She is beginning her attempts to crawl. I on the other hand am beginning to realize that my washer and dryer probably won't get a break for the next ten years or so. It's amazing how much the laundry increases with the addition of just one more. Even as I type my poor machines are working.

Now that Sophie is sleeping through the night good, my hubby and I decided that it was time she be relocated to her crib in the kids' bedroom. Surprisingly Makayla did not protest or cry or even try to get into the crib with her. She did however come and get into our bed..............at three in the morning. This morning however we got a special treat. She woke up before we did and decided that she was going to make Sophie a bottle! So she got the jug of water from the counter, she got the formula from the counter and a bottle out of the drain, (note, she had dragged her little chair in the kitchen to reach all of these things) and she proceeded to make the bottle..... on my couch! I didn't have the heart to yell at her, she was just trying to help after all. Don't know what to do about the three am bedroom migrations yet. I suppose it's just all part of getting used to having a sibling.

Lance (hubby) broke a tooth yesterday, he was working on a car and some how the wrench (or something) hit him in the mouth and broke his tooth. So he is in pain until he can see the dentist on Monday :(. He called into work and told them that Makayla had headbutted him!!! I laughed, blaming on the kid!!! I asked him if he couldn't have come up with a better story. Guess we'll have to see what next week brings.